Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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