i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
