My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
