im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
