after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
