That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Welp...herpes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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