btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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