Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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