Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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