i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
