yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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