hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize