You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
