I think I am morally bankrupt
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
