Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I smell stomach acid.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
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