your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize