I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
