I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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