fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
