there's paper in my vomit.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
