Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
