Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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