Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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