I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize