this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize