LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
