Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
