i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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