as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize