I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize