with your own penis?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
