I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
