you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
