my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
