TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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