I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
