you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
