Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

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(914): View more from New York

you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

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(442): View more from California

While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..

(1-330): View more from Ohio

that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?

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