He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Help. Why am I so naked?
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