is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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