i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
