"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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