I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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