guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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