i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
