I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize