I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
