You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
