ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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