At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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