it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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