So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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