He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize