Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
