it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
