I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
