Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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