I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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