It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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