Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
