After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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