i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
