Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
