my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
