i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
