my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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