So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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