I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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