hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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